Thursday, 5 February 2015

From Script to Screen OGR 2

1 comment:

  1. OGR 06/02/2015

    Hi Sachin,

    I like your simple 'Saturday Morning Cartoon' story - and the work you're putting into finessing your character designs is working. Your rat is beginning to feel like a rather loveable, rather daft protagonist. There's more to be done here in terms of treating him as a 'three dimensional object' and I encourage you to continue to resolve him accordingly:

    I'd like to see some expression sheets etc - take me closer to him as a character.

    Your cat needs more work, because he's not feeling as characterful as your mouse. He's still 'a drawing of a cat' as opposed to a character. I suggest - and this is a basic - that you look at more real world reference - at actual cats! - in order to resolve a more convincing personality.

    In story terms, it does feel as if you're missing other attempts, in between the rat being chased out of the chicken coop and the final disaster. Have you considered having the rat try and fool the cat/trick the cat/kill the cat? I can imagine the rat trying to distract/divert the cat somehow, and just ending up in more trouble. It just feels as if we need a bit more stuff in Act 2 in order for the Act 3 finale to be as funny as it could and should be - we should be thinking 'poor rat', even as we're laughing at him. Take another look at the Road Runner cartoons for inspiration in terms of the rat's attempts to outwit the cat.

    I'm going to keep nagging you re. going for that clean 'cartoon character' design - flat colour, strong shapes; the same should be true of your environments; again, take a look at the approach taken by the background artists of these examples: